No, I am not a mother to another human being yet. And the only time I have been closest to experiencing this state of being was while taking care of mowgli, our family's short-lived experience with a pet when I was still a pre-teen.
Anyway, that's not what I wanted to blog about. As my husband and I contemplate parenthood, as is often the case when you are considering something, instances of motherhood seem to pop up more often in front of me.
On the flight back from my last work trip, I was sitting next to a mother and her 6 or 7-year old son. I offered to give up my window seat so that the little boy could look out but the mother smilingly refused (much to the son's chagrin). As the one-hour long flight progressed, the son chattered non-stop about the little he could see out of the window and his mother paid close attention. She answered every question he asked and responded to each comment he made. And then both of them worked through a puzzle in his puzzle book together. She didn't do the puzzle for him but instead they took turns. It was a very interesting experience for me in a world populated by kids and parents occupied with their own individual 'devices'. Not only did the son have a paper puzzle book, they were actually sharing a pencil to work on their puzzle!
But more importantly, I enjoyed seeing how much they were enjoying each other. I am pretty sure there are instances when the little boy manages to drive his mother crazy (and vice versa) but on that plane journey, she was clearly enjoying him and he, her. And for their co-passenger, it was a beautiful thing to watch.
During that same work trip, something a colleague told me, also made a huge impression. A young mother of three, she is a very creative and efficient professional and with seriously amazing visual skills. When I asked her how she managed to get everyone ready in the morning before she came to work, she said that her kids were old enough to dress themselves. So, I asked how old her youngest was and her answer? Three. You have a 3-year old who dresses himself? I am sure a huge share of that credit goes to you!
She smiled and said that she had once heard a colleague talk about feeling really bad when she had to travel for work, because her son, who was a lot older than three, was unable to get ready for school on his own. At that point, my colleague resolved that she would raise her kids differently. They would know how to do things on their own, even if that took a little while longer initially. That just makes everything so much easier for everyone at home, she said. As she said this, images of whiny, dependent (sometimes obnoxious) children in many Indian 'malls' followed around by their doting parents, flashed in front of me.
I couldn't be happier to witness these beautiful exceptions that make me a little more open to the idea of motherhood. And not surprisingly, they remind me of the choices my parents made when they trusted my sister and I (both under-10) to take our first plane journey on our own. The memory of the air hostess telling us that the boarding cards were tickets for our dolls, makes me smile and thank my parents for their choices.
Independence and trust are probably the toughest gifts for a parent to give and my sister and I are lucky -- our parents gave and continue to give both freely.
Anyway, that's not what I wanted to blog about. As my husband and I contemplate parenthood, as is often the case when you are considering something, instances of motherhood seem to pop up more often in front of me.
On the flight back from my last work trip, I was sitting next to a mother and her 6 or 7-year old son. I offered to give up my window seat so that the little boy could look out but the mother smilingly refused (much to the son's chagrin). As the one-hour long flight progressed, the son chattered non-stop about the little he could see out of the window and his mother paid close attention. She answered every question he asked and responded to each comment he made. And then both of them worked through a puzzle in his puzzle book together. She didn't do the puzzle for him but instead they took turns. It was a very interesting experience for me in a world populated by kids and parents occupied with their own individual 'devices'. Not only did the son have a paper puzzle book, they were actually sharing a pencil to work on their puzzle!
But more importantly, I enjoyed seeing how much they were enjoying each other. I am pretty sure there are instances when the little boy manages to drive his mother crazy (and vice versa) but on that plane journey, she was clearly enjoying him and he, her. And for their co-passenger, it was a beautiful thing to watch.
During that same work trip, something a colleague told me, also made a huge impression. A young mother of three, she is a very creative and efficient professional and with seriously amazing visual skills. When I asked her how she managed to get everyone ready in the morning before she came to work, she said that her kids were old enough to dress themselves. So, I asked how old her youngest was and her answer? Three. You have a 3-year old who dresses himself? I am sure a huge share of that credit goes to you!
She smiled and said that she had once heard a colleague talk about feeling really bad when she had to travel for work, because her son, who was a lot older than three, was unable to get ready for school on his own. At that point, my colleague resolved that she would raise her kids differently. They would know how to do things on their own, even if that took a little while longer initially. That just makes everything so much easier for everyone at home, she said. As she said this, images of whiny, dependent (sometimes obnoxious) children in many Indian 'malls' followed around by their doting parents, flashed in front of me.
I couldn't be happier to witness these beautiful exceptions that make me a little more open to the idea of motherhood. And not surprisingly, they remind me of the choices my parents made when they trusted my sister and I (both under-10) to take our first plane journey on our own. The memory of the air hostess telling us that the boarding cards were tickets for our dolls, makes me smile and thank my parents for their choices.
Independence and trust are probably the toughest gifts for a parent to give and my sister and I are lucky -- our parents gave and continue to give both freely.
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