Three 'interesting' incidents in 5 days -- some weeks are more happening than others! While I responded appropriately to the first, I was too taken aback to respond to the other two, which, if you know me, left me fuming.
Last Friday my husband and I went to a friend's book party. That's pretty unusual for us in the first place. The party turned out to be in a classy, old money type of venue, which is even more unusual for us. Anyway, we were there to toast our friend and a room full of really old, definitely rich people wasn't about to deter us. Since I am fairly social, I decided to go around and introduce myself. After some false starts where the octogenarians in question had zero interest in getting to know me (though deafness may have been a factor), I came upon two people engaged in animated conversation. The woman was a lawyer with African heritage and the man was an ex-MNC executive who had spent time in India. Upon learning that I came from India, the lawyer told us about her women friends of Indian heritage who marveled at being able to travel alone in India, something that locals wouldn't even dream of. This tale was preceded and followed by worshipful exclamations about the opportunities that America offered its people. If she hadn't told me that she was born in the US, I would have assumed her adoration for the country originated from the typical "fresh off the boat" syndrome. Unfortunately for her, I felt compelled to tell her that I had a lot of friends who travelled alone in India regularly. Soon after, she excused herself, never to return to our scintillating conversation. Honestly, I think too many Indians who live abroad bolster this kind of attitude by deriding their oen country while worshipping their adopted country blindly.
On to Sunday, when we celebrated Diwali with a few friends and relatives. One of the guests, who suffers from the "I am only listening to you because I want to resume talking at the next break in the conversation" syndrome, asked my husband and me if "we had bought our house in the down market". Apart from it being an odd question, we were shocked at the assumption that we would naturally be unable to afford a house like this unless someone were selling it cheap. I still can't get over the fact that you would eat dinner calmly while insulting your hosts. Guess who's never getting invited back again!
And then today, I got a dose of 'mansplaining', a slightly silly term that captures the tendency some men have to repeat a woman's ideas and get credit for them. In a large meeting with clients where I was contributing actively, I realized one guy was repeating most of what I was saying and the others were giving him credit for my thoughts! I couldnt figure out what to say to him today but next meeting he does that, I am using my husband's advice "thank you for repeating what I said...". Ridiculous really!
Three different instances that bothered me enough to warrant a post. Rant over :)
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